A Word About Bathing Suits

Ok, so I know it's the end of November and it's 50 degrees out but I've been thinking... What is up with women's swimwear these days?? I mean really! It seems the goal is to show as much skin, in as many places as possible without actually being nude. Now, lest anyone think that I'm bitter over the addition of a series of lovely stretch marks that have appeared post-baby, let me first say that I've never been a fan of bathing suits, have never worn a bikini and have done my best to keep as covered as possible. Boys board shorts are far more preferable than those ride-up-in-all-the-wrong-places ones they sell for girls. Anyway, I digress. As I was saying, what is up with swimwear? I've been thinking that I should start a petition to bring back turn of the century bathing suits.

I mean they're very practical. First of all, they'd cover stretch marks beautifully. I don't know many women who have stretch marks on their knees or wrists. You could prance out in one of those beauties and not worry about a stretch mark sneaking out from under your suit to betray you! Second, I don't know if you've noticed but I'm a bit, well fair-skinned. Ok, ok, so I'm as pasty as a cooked spaghetti noodle. As you can imagine I burn very easily. These lovely suits cover so much more of the body that there is less of an area exposed to those harmful UV rays. That means less sunburns which means less skin cancer! It's a win-win! Plus I wouldn't have to spend 45 minutes trying to cover every square inch of me with sun block (and now unfortunately there are a few more square inches to cover than there used to be). Finally, check out their feet. What other bathing suits these days can you wear black socks with and still look that chic? These are the world's perfect bathing suits! No more stressing about cellulite or love handles. No more worries about tan lines or a bit of flab. These babies hide it all! So what do you say?? Who's with me? Bring back the 1900's bathing suit!!